Random absurdness and lentils

I got a letter from Germany, where I lived for many year, asking me to fill in some papers, regarding my pension. I'm 30, so I thought it was a little bit early. Paperwork in Germany is a nightmare, compared to Denmark, where every person is a number, so they know all about you already, no big need for paperwork here! In Germany that isn't the case, so I got about 15 pages that I had to fill in. They want to know everything in detail, but this was just absurd:



It asks if I ever worked on a Rheinschiff, a ship on the Rhine. What? I don't think so... Don't the poor ships on the Danube feel neglected now?

Another absurd thing is the following, which is a bad example of on-line translation gone wrong. These are the cooking instructions for some flavoured noodles, in German and Danish:




The German asks you to boil them for two minutes in an open bathtub :D !!! The Danish is even better, as it says something like:

Put together noodles and storage aroma. Wrap it in half a cup of tea. Cook because for 2 minutes in an open up *here a word that doesn't really exist*, and now my favourite part: Now and then resurrection (hahahahhhahahahahaha :D ) Don't make leaking ditch become water.

And now to the lentils part: